How feedback to our work leads to discussion and makes us reflect deeper about what we do and results in new insights

Hello, my friends,

It seems to be often the case that I try something different with this blog. And I like it because it pushes me and challenges my own worries and insecurities.

No matter, I am drifting off. I want to tell you today how feedback from a friend about my blog post “What you need to do to find love that´s stronger than you ever imagined and where to start” made me think a bit more about this subject.

So, after reading the blog post, my friend agreed that it´s most important to be on good terms with yourself first. However, he also told me that you should be careful because it could easily be understood as being egoistical.

I really think that this was a good point. And I agree that it´s possible. However, I think that it´s only possible when you don´t take care of all the areas that are important for you. It´s only possible if you only focus on yourself but I believe that when you ask yourself honestly those important questions that everybody will come with more important things than oneself.

So, when you really ask yourself what is important then you´ll almost certainly also have other people on your list. Probably friends, family, acquaintances and some positive impact in the society will be part of your answers. When you then act accordingly so that you can improve yourself but with the goal to ultimately be better able to help and contribute in all those other areas. Then, it´s pretty unlikely that you become an egoist.

Because then you have things on your list like “take care of your friends and family to have an amazing social environment” and then you also have small goals for this. Maybe it´s just to call them more often, or meet them every now and then, or make some small surprises or help them or plan nice activities together with them.

I would even go so far that we all must be a bit egoistically, up to a certain point, because only when we are doing good can we be good for others. That can also mean to cancel an appointment to do something that is only for oneself.

An actual example for myself is that I have as a goal for myself to put sport/fitness/nutrition on a higher priority. That doesn´t mean that I´ll now only be doing sport, eat like a rabbit and never meet friends. However, that can mean that I can talk an hour less with my wife or sit a bit less together with my family because I will go for a walk. That´s then a little bit egoistic but on the long-term view, it´s advantageous for my family. Because I feel better and have more energy to help them and I can focus more on the time that we have together and can also enjoy that time than more.

And this time doesn´t have to be difficult to implement. Back to my example, most of the time I try my best to plan in sport in the morning or to do it before meetings in the evening. Hence, often it´s possible to connect actions that are good for yourself and activities that are good for your goals that include others.

Sometimes it´s even possible to combine them. Let´s say you have the goal to get more fresh air. Then, it´s possible to meet a friend for a nice walk. Or take your family out for a hike.

 So, as with everything in life we have to be careful to be in balance. Too much of anything is not good. However, I believe deeply that we must take care of ourselves before we can be there for the important people in our lives. Because only then, we can help and support them best. If we start with helping others and forget ourselves will we tear ourselves down and in the end both will be beaten down on the ground.

So, take care of yourself! 

I am already curious about more feedback! So, don´t be shy and give me a comment.

I wish you all the best and look forward to show you my next post.
Greetings,

Alexander

P.s.: Just a short thought at the end, I really believe that I and many other people in our time have to become better at being present in the moment. A short time being present with people that you love is way more valuable than a long time spent mindlessly next to each other.
To achieve this, I try to “meditate” regularly. For me, that means mainly to be attentive to my breath for some time and to improve my ability to calm myself in every moment. I do that randomly throughout the day. Many times just for some seconds. And I try to focus on it at least some seconds every morning after waking up.